Glamography Magazine aims to feature everyday women and their stories. Our mission is to give these women the opportunity to break out of their day-to-day, get glammed up a little, and celebrate their true, authentic selves. This is Kylie's feature from the Summer 2024 issue of Glamography:

A wife and mother of three, Kylie’s path has been shaped by her struggle against the constraints of a conservative upbringing and her quest to find her true self. Her story is a testament to the power of self-discovery, the importance of mental health, and the courage it takes to live life on one’s own terms.

Early Life and Struggles

Kylie’s early life was dominated by the strict, conservative beliefs of her family. "I grew up in an ultra-conservative and religious household," she recalls. "My mother taught me that women were meant to be seen and not heard, and should live to take care of the home." This oppressive environment stifled Kylie’s natural creativity and instilled a deep sense of guilt whenever she pursued her interests.

"I was a very creative child who loved art and dancing, but my mother would go through periods of time where she would be very supportive, and then completely flip the switch by saying whatever hobby I was doing at the time was immoral in some form," Kylie shares. Her mother’s inconsistent support and harsh judgments left a lasting impact on Kylie, leading her to suppress her true desires and conform to her mother’s expectations.

Breaking Free and Finding Love

Despite these challenges, Kylie began to push back against the restrictive norms imposed on her. "I was homeschooled my entire life and was highly discouraged from attending college as my mom believed that women should not have careers," she explains.

But Kylie’s spirit of rebellion led her to pursue an online college degree, an act her mother dismissed as a "rebellious phase."

Her early adulthood was marked by tumultuous relationships and rushed decisions. "I was pushed into marrying my high school sweetheart, which led to a divorce, and then subsequently rushed into marriage with my next husband in order to preserve the family image," she says.

Under her mother’s pressure, Kylie felt compelled to start a family quickly, leading to a period of overwhelming stress and sadness. “My mother was very pushy about me starting a family, and so I grew up assuming that I must have children and that I must have them as quickly as possible. Don’t get it wrong, I absolutely love my children and would not change the fact that I have them. They are my life, and I know that I would always choose to have a family.

But despite this, I have gone through periods of overwhelming sadness in not knowing how to deal with all of the stress that life throws my way, especially with children and a husband, and while I was pushed from every angle, it was never explained to me just how I was going to accomplish it and balance everything once I got to where I was going.

I want my daughters to know that if they want to have children, that is wonderful, but getting married and having children is not their main purpose in life. I never want them to feel the pressure that I felt from my mother. And if they do decide to start a family, I want them to know how to balance it all, while maintaining their mental health.”

Rediscovering Herself

It wasn’t until Kylie moved out of her mother’s house that she began to shed many of the beliefs that had been imposed on her. "I shed many of those beliefs when I moved out, such as changing my religious views and political stance," she says. However, the fear of disappointing her mother and others still lingered, leading to periods of unhappiness and struggle.

At 31, Kylie experienced a turning point in her life. "I met my friend Robin last year. We became close quickly since we had led very similar lives," she recalls. Robin’s simple advice— to start doing the things she wanted in life—had a profound impact on Kylie. "I had spent much of my life being very codependent on someone since I was raised to think that spouses had to do things together all of the time. It had really never occurred to me that I could simply go out and do things by myself."

This revelation set Kylie on a new path. She began to explore her own interests and preferences, discovering aspects of herself that had been suppressed for years. "It sounds a bit ridiculous, but I was recently reminded of this when I discovered that I actually do love board games! My mother, and everyone else in my family, always hated playing board games, and refused to do so. And so I grew up thinking that was how I felt as well. I was recently talked into a game night and had the best time."

Embracing Authenticity and Self-Love

Kylie’s journey to self-discovery has been a process of learning to prioritize her own happiness and well-being. "I am also learning that while it’s nice to be an agreeable person for the most part, I can also have my own likes and dislikes," she says. She began to read the books she enjoyed, watch the shows that interested her, and attend events she genuinely wanted to go to.

This newfound authenticity has also improved her relationships with her children and husband. "I feel that I know myself better now than I have my entire life. And I feel that I am setting a better and healthier example for self-care for my daughters than anything that was ever modeled for me while I was growing up."

Empowerment and Advocacy

Kylie’s transformation has empowered her to become an advocate for herself and her daughters. "I have always considered myself to be a ‘no-nonsense’ person and someone who wasn’t afraid of conflict, but I began to realize that I was actually quite passive in my life and, while I wasn’t necessarily afraid of conflict, I would oftentimes avoid it in order to keep the peace," she explains.

Over the past year, Kylie has learned to assert her needs and boundaries, even in small ways. "It sounds silly, but in the past, I would always agree to make plans regardless of if I wanted to go or not, just to make everyone happy. But now it feels empowering to know that I can say ‘no’ and the world will still continue turning."

Kylie hopes to pass on this sense of empowerment to her daughters. "It is incredibly important to me that my daughters are able to look up to me and see a strong woman, as opposed to someone who is entirely focused on catering to everyone else's needs at any given moment."

Being Your Best Self

Kylie’s story is a powerful reminder that self-worth is not determined by one’s ability to please others. "I hope that any woman who sees this will take away that you don’t have to do it all and please everyone in order to be worthy of anything," she says. "You can take your own feelings into consideration and still be a good friend, good mother, good wife, etc. You do not have to completely sacrifice your entire persona in order to have loved ones around you, and if you DO have to sacrifice your entire self, you probably aren’t with your tribe of people."

Her advice to other women is simple yet profound: "In order to be the best version of yourself for those around you, you have to make yourself a priority and start living life on your own terms. This does not mean that you abandon the people around you, or forget about their feelings. It simply means that you take your own feelings into consideration and make time for yourself."

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